first poem I have written this year

"He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, whic neither you nor your father had known, to show you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."
Deuteronomy 8:3

"Open your wouth wide and I will fill it."
Psalm 81:10b

I. Preamble

How certain I know You've been here.
Tired steamlight of this document trembles.
I wonder how anything like dark
typed words would make my world
polished again. If they themselves
would mend up rips like fingers flying
across the tear, wearing off bumps and shattering
thoughts or differences into
nowhere. Like broken glass.

Again has grown into a stranger. The past,
a trembling figure skimming across
a road or farmland, always crunching
his oblong bronze apple.
I even hate the word 'familiar.'

This moment perhaps is really
rage. A cowering, a
betrayl. To no one.
Nothing as accurate as
that. I prefer my comfort,
my underground drilling, my stuck head
as long as what I have it rammed into
remains---
and it is not like anyone is dead. Just
that all my living has been starved on
stale stiff idols, always lining up in different forms
promising things like 'success' or
a 'man', 'glorification', 'beauty.'

Yet I moan, because maybe
I wanted my idols, Father, maybe
I won't try to even understand
Your love. And I know it was You,
know it. Wilted
the cheap aim of my affection. Was it always so
empty, the target? I don't
want to think so, no.

II. Lord's Song

Open your mouth wider, my Loved.
I will break it, I will fill it.
Eat on the past and your pangs
will last, will swallow you first.
I will break it, I will fill it.
Your hunger is too large, your heart
is too hollow, your limbs collapse.
Your mind collects everything
like grime. Loved, your heart sits on traps.
I will break it, I will fill it.
You've been lunching on lies,
each feeding. Your mouth
never comes near me. Loved,
bare your widened mouth to me.
I will break it, I will fill it.
You think I cannot see your pain? Loved,
your pain is mine.
I will break it, I will fill it.
Loved, you shove me. You
are searching for another way,
you crucify me.
I will break it, I will fill it.
Rip your eyes to me.
I will break it, I will fill it.
You are mine, Loved.
Come letting go and all
your spindly pieces will unravel
Like a song, Loved.
Do not feel robbed or shamed or naked.
I cover you.
I've stripped myself already and agonized.
I will break it, I will fill it.
Carry your arms to me.
I will break it, I will fill it
Open your mouth wider, my Loved.
I will break it, I will fill it.